Life (as it moves and grows)

After that last post alot has changed in a short amount of time. I have for the most part quit smoking. I got into NIU and plan on attending. I got engaged. Life as I have known it is moving upward and onward in great strides. I am extremely excited and very happy. Life is meant to happen in bounds. I hope to be able to keep making such bounds forward as time progresses.

I think the biggest change at this point (being since my last post) is this impassioned fervor I have received for what it is that I am doing. All of the sudden, scienc, philosophy, mathematics, all kinds of subjects have become extremely important and meaningful to my day to day life. Taking a few moments here and there to marvel and what I know/belief and what I don't. Thinking about space and cosmology and its hugeness or contemplating the atom and quantum physics. The human mind and the way in which we use language. All of this excites me to a degree that I have never before tried to interact with. I hope that I can keep this passion and feeling of intensity in the future. I believe it will extremely effect the way in which my life progresses. That is what is finally happening. Progress. And it is wonderful.

Death (for a future Kyle to read)

Today was full of thoughts about death. Because of this I have been thinking a lot about my life. Ironic. I went to a memorial service earlier for a guy that killed himself. But he wasn't the kind of guy that kills themself. He was the kind of guy with a great family, a beautiful wife, beautiful children, and lots of friends. He made differences in peoples lives. He TRIED at life. And he tried hard. But he Got depressed. He got so sad one day that while his wife was gone for a few minutes he went upstairs and blew his brains out. That is not what guys like this do. But he did. Thus...I am thinking about death and my life.

My life at the moment...I know I havent blogged in almost a year. I finished my thesis, put it up here and forgot about this. Alot has happened. After graduating I went to Europe. Had a great time. Worked some, traveled a little for work. Went to Costa Rica. Turned 23 (ugh). And applied to Grad Schools. Actually I am writing now just as I am hearing back from Grad Schools. I didnt get in to CU boulder as far as i know, nor tufts, and NIU maybe but i definitely didn't get funding. Should have studied harder in undergrad. Oh well. Makes me feel like shit, cause at this point I really thought I would get into these places but not get funding, but it makes sense I guess. 3.4gpa can't cut it.
So I am planning on finishing my app to CSULA. At least there I will probably get in and not have to pay much for a good education with a chance of getting in somewhere good. I sure hope I end up getting to do philosophy and not having to do something to just cover my/our expenses. Life is seriously a bitch.



Kyle